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Post by Princess on Nov 9, 2006 10:39:43 GMT 7
I've often looked at the kids nowadays and laughed. Some ppl say you shouldn't hit or scold them, whereas some say we had learnt through those means, so we turned out good and that should be applied to the kidz nowadays too. Agree or disagree?
I've been in the ppl business for quite some time and I've gotten to know quite a handful of ppl from all age groups. True enough, hitting and scolding doesn't seem to help us to go anywhere... but are kids getting obnoxious and arrogant?
Well, it's not only kids alone, there's even teens and youths and some adults are acting in an irritating way.
What do you think?
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Post by PrinCeiFied on Nov 9, 2006 11:30:48 GMT 7
it really depends on the upbringing. some parents spoil their kids that's y the kid will turn out the way it is. when a kid is horrible, blame the parents not the kid.
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Post by Princess on Nov 9, 2006 20:41:20 GMT 7
Yupz... I totally agree... as the saying goes: "There are no unteachable students, only teachers who are unable to teach".
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Post by ZenShi on Nov 10, 2006 10:59:08 GMT 7
i have yet to became a parent myself but i was able to conclude come suggestion. parent have to set themselves a role model even from the start of a new born infant, start now or too late.
Primary: physical punishment doesnt provide kids with proper education and in fact, it spoils the childhood. overdo it and you child could have problems like mental stress, introverting themself and even lead to high blood pressure as they developed into an adolescent. REMEMEBR once the physical punishment is carry out by the parents, your child will not utlize their brain function. It has already instil some restriction of developing their innovative mind-cepts. This is why caucasians do not beat their kids!
I have friendsSsSs who grown up with full covered body wounds which is obvious to know who could have done this to them. I still remember when i was a sec 2 student in a non-coed school, i know a guy by the name "ck". He was a very diligent student relatively to that of a person who follows the rule all the time but yet, its almost a certain that he knew the result before even sitting for the test. Failing the test is already part of his prediction. And for certain, his legs would be covered from some marks of the physical impact from his parent.
BLOODY HELL to some parents who do not know how to educate your son properly that only know to wack ur son when he fails !!! Mind you, my friend was the nicest living human on earth which bears no ill temper or whatsoever but still, he isnt spared from the physical harm.
[ if beating can ever teaches the child the right way then all parents could have become teacher instead. to all who supportted strongly on such act, you should clean ur face with shi* ]
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Post by Princess on Nov 11, 2006 8:27:42 GMT 7
Hey, I totally agree! I read this up in one of my notes and it says violence is never the way to rectify your child's behavior. Instead, it would make them think that violence is actually the solution to all problems! That's why you see the little imitators hitting their own siblings and friends when they get angry. In the end, the parents hit more because they think the child is naughty. Stupid enough. I have a son but I don't hit him even though he cries and throws tantrum. But he never tried to bully other toddlers when he sees them. In fact he would stare at them and try to join in their games. Other toddlers would then try to hit him. Hahaha!!!
In my office, there's this pregnant dog who goes around insulting and scolding the part-timers of our company coz she thought they were crap and she didn't cared less. Haha... retribution! Now, all the part-timers (students mostly), are boycotting her. Lol... serves her right!
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Post by ZenShi on Nov 13, 2006 7:49:18 GMT 7
You have a son? No wonder you came up with this thread ! Anyway, be a happy mum yeah.
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Post by Princess on Nov 13, 2006 14:48:13 GMT 7
Haha... that is one reason why I had started this thread. However, the main reason is coz I'm in the education field and I come into contact with tons of children, teens and youths. Some are clients and some are part timers. My colleague, whom I had termed her as a low EQ superficial hypocritical Fat V (as mentioned in Classified), is really ignorant of how she should treat youngsters nowadays. So I'm here to gather more opinions. Haha...
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chaosjc
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Post by chaosjc on Nov 15, 2006 18:12:31 GMT 7
hey... hmmm yep i feel that some are getting out of hands... in fact i find my juniors kinda thingyy... i guess thats how its suppose to be now... some really thinks that they are mature and they are veri complicated... actually they are just naive and simple minded... Some really think that the world revolves arnd them... haiz...
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Post by Princess on Nov 17, 2006 11:07:40 GMT 7
That is because their parents think that the world really revolves around them. Lolz... nowadays kidz tell parents they have generation gap and all those business about not understanding each other. But it all comes back to the word "Love". I think with love and respect everything could be solved amicably. Don't you think so?
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d4thday
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Post by d4thday on Jan 19, 2007 19:10:13 GMT 7
Beating is wrong but I always felt that it's better to let the child be caned by yourself than by the Big Man in Changi. Physicial punishment must be used only at the last resort not as the first step.
Sometimes verbal abuse is no different to physical abuse. Some words should never be spoken to a child.
Lack of strong enforcement of values result in lack of regards of values by children.
I try to tell a child not to vandalise the wall and the next thing, his dad came over and yell at me. I cannot reason with him at all.
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Post by Princess on Jan 19, 2007 21:37:09 GMT 7
Lolz... some parents are just beyond redemption. Well, look at it this way, children are born as blank slates and they grow up according to wat they see and learn. If you deal with them with violence, they may in turn think that in order to gain respect or show their dominance, they should also use violence. Violence always breeds violence. If you wan your kid to be on a one-way ticket to the Paradise in Changi, by all means use the rod. Physical punishment may not be the only solution. Ever thought to yourself: What the heck? Cane only mahz... nvm de la... cane le den bo tai chi le. Kids nowadays are not as afraid as we used to be of physical punishments. Maybe it's becoz of the societal changes now. But more or less, children are also learning the way of civilisation is through cultivating good habits and through our senses. Children can be taught the right way with the right reinforcements, such as taking away something that they value if they misbehave and only get them back when they behave. Or else, heap praises on them when they had done well or ignore them when they had done something not up to your expectations. Children are sensible creatures and will learn that to gain recognition, they will have to act according to expectations and thus conform. We all grow and yearn for acceptance, by family, peers and the society.
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d4thday
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Post by d4thday on Jan 19, 2007 22:39:32 GMT 7
You had your school of no violence. I respect that.
However physicial punishment is NOT violence. Physical punishment is given as Punishment stemming off from a form of tough love. Violence is act of rage and anger or a sick display of power. I do not believe that Tough Love will result in a one-way ticket to Jail and that Physical Punishment will make a child bad. You may not need for such (as both a parent and child. Lucky you) that's why you had much disdain for that subject.
Taking away and Giving it back is one way of displaying your power. However had you ever think of that, it's the same as physical punishment?The underlying concept is Breaking the spirit of Defiance through the concept of displaying POWER?
I can take away your toys because I am your Mum and I can do that because I give you these toys and because you are naughty
is no different from
I am your dad and I am beating you now because I am your dad ad I can do that because you are naughty
And in the end, returning what you say about caning
Cane only mahz... nvm de la... cane le den bo tai chi le.
Take lor, take....nvm de la....take already will get back
But I am not mocking the credibility of your teaching as I believe you will follow it up with love and reasoning as the core expression. Which is the same in my Tough Love reasoning.
I express concern regarding the 'ignore' action. I feel that ignoring a child that way is unhealthy. Communication is vital. Express your expectations and constant encourage them to speak up regarding your expectations too.
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jonathanckh
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Post by jonathanckh on Jan 23, 2007 14:36:03 GMT 7
Just bring them go Boy's Home.
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Post by gynette on Jan 23, 2007 23:11:46 GMT 7
lols. haha. then i am very glad tat my parents have got such a cute and nice daughter like me! hahahaha. =x aiyo. kids nowadays are trying to act ''jap''. then also. they have childish thinking and also. do alot alot of childish things? i know i may be petty or whatever. becos i am always very very irritated by their actions. just like some of my cousins....... arghs.
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Post by Princess on Jan 24, 2007 22:22:32 GMT 7
Lolz... the act of ignoring is when you are able to judge that the child is displaying acts of attention-grabbing. This is actually curb the behavior as the child realises that the act is not going to earn him any attention, regardless of positive or negative.
Another matter would be; physical punishments are not encouraged as they shows the child that if you want somebody to listen to you, the resort would be violence. There is a thin line between discipline and punishment. We, as educators or parents, seek to discipline children in a manner that they find, not diminishing to their esteem, but instead help them realise the right way of communication and conflict-resolution. We can never ever punish children because humans are born to make mistakes and learn from them to make oneself grow and mature. By meting out punishments, you would be discouraging the child to make mistakes and learn from any of them.
Also, when I say taking something away from them means such as privileges of watching TV and their toy Power Rangers. For example, if a child misbehaves, sit the child down and ask leading questions to why the child performs such an act and explains that it is undesirable. Children may not always know what is right and wrong and sometimes they give wierd and seemingly unacceptable answers. But it does not mean that they are wrong. They are right in their own world and they are constantly trying to figure out the world around them. Thus, explaining to them helps to rectify their problems in a civilised manner and accepting their answers is a way of understanding them. This is child psychology.
In addition, taking away privileges are not diminishing to their rights. Instead, it teaches them not to take things for granted and that these items are luxury items, not their rights to possess these items. They should be able to differentiate the correct way to earn their desired privileges through adult guidance. E.g. 'Well, Baby's behavior is not very good because you are hurting someone. Do you know that you are hurting someone?'
-A typical child is only able to show empathy when he or she is about 5 years and above.
Baby 'Yes, mummy. I am sorry.' or 'No, mummy, I don't know that.'
Mummy 'Alright. Now that you know that doing that is a hurting behavior and it makes others cry, can you promise mummy not to do that again?'
Baby 'Yes'
Mummy 'Ok. Now because you were not a very good boy this morning, do you think that mummy can request that you volunteer to give up TV session today to make up for your mistake?'
Baby 'Yes.'
This is an accurate example of how to deal with such instances.
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